This is why...

...they don't eat nachos in Ireland:

Because they would probably do something dumb like this and replace the tortilla chips with baked potato slices, throw bacon and green onions on top, and call it "Irish Nachos."

Dear Hennessy's,

Irish or not, these are not nachos. This is clearly just a plate of potato skins without the skins.

While I realize that "Irish Nachos" is kind of a thing among Irish-themed pubs & restaurants, I feel that this is crap and you should rise above.

You are my favorite place to get drunk in South Bay and I feel that my Sunday Funday experiences would reach mind-blowing levels if you were to remove this item from your menu and replace it with actual nachos. 

In the meantime, I will continue to get down on your veggie burger and/or magical spinach artichoke dip.

Thanks,

Me

Irish "nachos" are a travesty to the nacho-eating community. Like why are they even a thing? Instead of crisp, salty tortilla chips, you get mushy, luke-warm slices of potato (the root of the issue), and instead of the warm blend of spices that a freshly concocted batch of pico de gallo bestows, you get the gritty texture and muted onion flavor of scallions. Additionally, there seems to be just a complete lack of toppings in general. No guac? No beans? No bueno...

Oh and can we please talk about the fact that you have to eat these with a fork?!... Rude.

Arbitrary and Highly Subjective Nacho Rating Scale Rank: Unranked

Cabo Nachos; Will They Ever be Beat?

So my friends and I like to play a game. It's called "Death Row," and basically one person poses the following question to another person in the group:

"You're on death row and it's time to decide what you'd like for your last meal. You get to choose one appetizer, one main dish with two sides, and one dessert. What do you choose?"

[Is that a game?]

My answer has always been Cabo Cantina nachos for dessert and some other shit for my appetizer, main course, and two sides. The take away here being that I want to leave this earth with the leftover taste of all that is holy having its way with my taste buds.

[Clear winner.]

Now, before I get into Cabo nacho anatomy, let me preface by stating that, without a doubt, Cabo Cantina is my favorite dining/binge-drinking establishment in the greater Los Angeles area. Why, you might ask?

For some, it's the light, Mexican-inspired atmosphere. For others, it's the number of TVs broadcasting major sporting events across the globe. And yet for others, it's the entertaining riff-raff that alternates between stereotypes dependent upon your Cabo location (Venice think young street urchins and hippies, West Hollywood think older predators of questionable sanity, and Brentwood you'll find your average clusters of post-workday happy hour goers and UCLA frat boys).

For me, the appeal lies in the reality that I can get a skinny margarita the size of my head and a plate of nachos that will blow your tits off.  

Alas, I give you... Cabo Cantina Nachos (in the form of a picture that I took with my cell phone):

Here we have a delectable composition of the following ingredients (in order of importance):

• Tortilla Chips (duh)
• Melted Cheeses
• Guacamole
• Salsa/Pico de Gallo
• Black Beans
• Sour Cream Sauce
• Crumbled Mexican Cheese
• Chicken

                 ...holy shit

Here's a diagram:

Now, due to their indisputable deliciousness, you will probably be pressed to take down a plate of Cabo nachos faster than one of those baby cans of diet coke that they sell in socialist countries like England before the server has a chance to bring you the extra napkins that you so innocently requested pre-nacho eye-lock. 

I challenge you, however, to proceed with caution and take the time to treasure every moment of sheer delight that each ingredient has to bestow in its own right. You'll thank yourself later (and potentially avoid popping the button off of your skinnies from consuming paradise too fast).

Arbitrary and Highly Subjective Nacho Rating Scale Rank: #1 bitches.

Nachos

SO I've been determined to create this blog for about three years now. Why? Because not only are nachos are the shit, but they are, without a doubt, my favorite food. Like.., there is nothing else that I would rather have in my mouth at any given time [that's what she said.. hardy har] than a super-sized, hot mess of black beans, refried beans, sour cream, GUACAMOLE, salsa, cheddar cheese, white crumbly Mexican cheese, onions, olives, sometimes chicken, and tortilla chips so salty that you can actually feel your blood pressure rising.

Anyway, here's a bunch of posts about various plates of nachos that I've consumed; pictures, thoughts, and rank on an arbitrary and highly subjective scale that I've devised.


Bon appénacho.